I Feel Good!

Still don’t want to get ahead of myself, but this is the first time in a long time I’m really feeling more positive about the path I’m taking and my body image.

I looked at myself the other day… and I was clearly not as fat as I imagine myself to be. There are some days I imagine myself as willowy and confident, but I clearly am not fat. I think I’m losing a little bit of size, just a little bit… but it’s absolutely enough to make me feel like I’m going somewhere.

I’m also looking forward to the gym. I don’t try to put it off but am really trying to work people into my schedule around it. I might get a little lazy but I think that’s fair game to expect some days. I think I’m deriving a sense of satisfaction from the working out. Maybe the endorphins are finally kicking in

So now I have to wonder if it’s where my head is at or if this particular gym is working for me right now, because if it is, it’s going to be damn hard to give up.

A Start

As I’m thinking about how I’m going to write this, one of the concerns that comes up is that I should temper my enthusiasm a little. It’s easy to get excited when I’m in the early stages – brimming over with hope and expectations for the future.

But that’s the fascinating thing. It is real excitement, not just for the potential end goal, but the process too. I think this bodes well…

Last week I visited the gym 4 times – boxing, crossfit, and two types of yoga. One was very low intensity though, but now I know. This week I missed out again on the boxing class I intended to go to, but just rehashed my crossfit exercises and managed to make it to a stability ball class. There’s a short break today and no classes I can attend tomorrow, so that might be the real test. So far though, I haven’t been convincing myself out of going to the gym. I push myself to get there and if I can’t make a class I don’t try to take it easy. It feels so good!

I really hope this keeps up. I know I’ve ben obsessively weighing myself and little has changed, but there’s no way this cannot be good for me.

While grocery shopping I picked up a whole capon, so it’s been chicken after chicken. This go around I’ve been more conscious about not including the skin when it wasn’t done in a crispy prep – the only real reason you want the skin. My only concern is that I see how much I’m blanding out my food for the sake of “healthy” and it just seems a bit lazy and silly. Need to rethink the “diet” thing and come up with smarter and more flavourful ideas. It’s not even that I miss anything or am wanting (the right kind of and at the right time carbs are fine, fat consumption is going down though), but just that I might as well treat myself better. I think with the summer too, lighter is just preferable. I think I’m aiming towards latin, broths, flavourful salads from around the world, and seafood.

Meals:
Drunken chicken with Korean legume rice, wilted greens, quick pickles. Roasted chicken with salt truffled potatoes and roasted asparagus. Breakfast pastries.
Poached egg over pasta with asparagus, shallots and garlic.
Mussels and fennel in spicy herbed sake.
Chicken fingers sometimes with vegetables.

Note:
I’m noticing that the simple salads just aren’t doing it for me. They eventually get waterlogged, taste bland, and just generally disinterest me. I have to think more about this. Go heartier than leafy methinks. Also more legumes. Cook chickpeas this week.

Time Flies

It’s been almost a year since I wrote anything and it’s interesting how vividly I can recall the situation, emotions and intentions behind the last posts. What’s disappointing, surprisingly it isn’t that it’s been a year, but that I thought I had written more! Quite the cue and indicator of where I mentally was at that point.

The foodie in me wants to support a lot of the local movement within reason. I’ve been avoiding items that can be grown in Ontario, but it’s really stunted my eating and excitement for cooking. I think it’s also been incredibly limiting to a healthy and diverse diet that keeps me on track. While I was apt-ridden some of the best foods for me where the fruits that I had pushed into a corner and that set me on the path of reevaluating my purchasing choices.

I still aim for the local items, especially ones that I don’t crave on a regular basis. For example asparagus, which is now in season in Ontario and not a vegetable that I find crucial to my palate.

On the other hand, to up keep my fruit intake and keep it interesting I’m going for the melons, the pineapple, the mangoes…. I won’t buy a non-Ontario apple nor pear nor peach but the rest I’ll give a little grey area. I’m going to let my body speak for me more than my brain. I don’t think that’s a bad thing either, I’m still very aware of the decisions I’m making. But if one of the elements of locality is also health, then what my body is asking for is a big part of that.

One of the exercise “methods” I’ve taken on is purchasing the group buying coupons available for exercise within my vicinity that I find potentially interesting. At first I thought it was going to offer great variety, but I wasn’t motivated the way I thought I would be and have left things fall to the wayside. Yesterday though, I redeemed one of the monthly subscriptions to a nearby gym and I’m excited. I’ve made the resolution that rather than sit at home and watch television, I’ll go to the gym. I realize that is the hurdle for a lot of people, but in an odd way it seems like less of one for me. If I’m going to spend time alone doing unproductive things, then I might as well go and workout and potentially meet some people. The idea just feels right to me and great. It started as a push, but feels more like an invitation now. Perhaps it’s the weather… the sunshine that makes me feel great about it, but I think it has potential.

So classes have been arranged for nearly all week and I have let work get in the way a bit already but I’ve been good one day so far to either go to a later fitness class or make the decision to workout on my own. I think this is going to be a great month leading into a great rejuvenation of my life.

Breakfast – pasta with asparagus, bacon fat, shallot, garlic, chili flakes and parmesan (liberal douse of olive oil); strawberries

Lunch – arugala salad with cucumber, green onion, tomato and mustard vinaigrette; cheese and crackers

Dinner – roast chicken thigh with roasted potatoes and pea shoots

Snacks & Dessert – unknown, potentially none.